Nelson - Being at One with Nature Hurts

A rock made of rock pancakes of rock

Part of my day long drive to Nelson involved looking at lots of trees, as those avid readers will know, I seem to have fallen in love with looking at trees. New Zealand has a plethora of trees (this is why you've waited so long for a blog, I was using a thesaurus and got confused). Big ones, small ones, tropical ones, evergreen ones. It’s amazing and the forests look they are having trouble holding them all in one place, no wonder they’ve had to install walkways to the monuments. One of these well placed walkways was to the pancake rocks and blowholes. It was very humid but well planned, the roundtrip walk was only 20 mins so I

Selfie on a wobbly bridge

got cracking. I got to see lots of pancake type rocks but the water didn’t want to Free Willy through the holes. I was looking forward to it but alas. Further along the road I found a bridge, not just any old bridge, but a wobbly one. It is like the millennium bridge just not as big but with the same wobble factor (prior to fixing obvs). It also involved a small walk, making me complete my 30 mins of exercise for the day meaning that everything that happened later was bonus and therefore making me healthier, there you go mum! It was even and educational walk with information boards around the route and awesome rusty vehicles that they used when the place was a gold mine.

One of the rusty mining vehicles

When I finally arrived into Nelson I got to my campsite and received a text from Jimi (friend from camp, lives in Nelson, also short for Jimi-Zara, friend girl) saying that she was going to be free sooner than expected so I only needed to fill an hour. I had a chat to my campsite neighbours who just so happened to be from England and in dire need of medicinal smoking grass, unfortunately even with my contacts I wasn’t able to provide. We did have a nice chat about traveling South Island, they really went big and actually slept in the back of their car with no mattress either. Jimi picked me up around 8 and we went for drinks and dinner at a pub, enjoyable experience. I then realized that my

A drunken guy wearing a
Champions t-shirt (Modin reference)

night wasn’t going to be that chilled. We headed into the “city” for continued beverage consumption. My 2nd big night in a week, my aging body nearly conked out. But we did go to a few interesting bars and nightclub things. It was my first real appreciation of the kiwi way. I was wearing trousers but only had the jandal (flip flop in kiwi) on. I was allowed in everywhere and didn’t lose them to a sticky dance floor. There was a lot of dancing until we got to the club that had the football on and I might have got distracted.

Larry the llama

The next morning I was collected once again (I enjoyed the chauffeuring) and we went on a tour of the city. Much like my experience in Invercargill I encountered the Santa Parade, this time it made a meal of Jimi showing me around. We then met up with some friends for a delicious brunch. Jimi and I have a very similar approach to organisation and rushing. Eventually we went to the beach, which was cleverly placed right next to my campsite. Before that we went to a little zoo farm like thing that had monkeys and we definitely didn’t feed them, did we Jimi? #rebel. At the beach we did beach things like a bit of splashing around and getting my tan on.

Jimi, Edd & Tim selfie

We also tried a bit of slacklining as we brought one with us. Tim was by far the best, I realised yet again that I don’t have anything that resembles a core muscle group. It’s like they went out for milk 5 years ago and haven’t been seen since. This could explain all of the injuries that I have had since. After that I think we all needed an early night so I crashed at the campsite with instructions to be at Jimi’s house bright and early for our next adventure…. Abel Tasman!!

When I arrived at Jimi’s house and was immediately confused as to why there was no one at the house until she fetched me and showed me to the shed which when you walked round it was magically another abode (thesaurus time again). The views were amazing, looking over fields for miles and only being about 300m from a river thing. We hung out for a bit and then slowly headed over to Abel Tasman (massive national park, lots of trees, by the sea). We arrived a little late, again the planning was a little poor, so there was only one walk that we could do. This is based around the fact that they need to know how many people are staying in the park overnight and if you are supposed to be coming out that day then they have to send a search party. And if you are extra special, you get a boat and helicopter to remove you from it. That wasn’t us by the way. The nice girl in the tourist office thing mentioned that she did the 4 hour walk that we were going to attempt in 2 hours 30 mins and she was barefoot, do I hear a challenge being laid out? Yes you do. As Jimdog and

Abel Tasman view

I were only wearing our flipity flopities anyway we thought we would give it a shot. For the record, 12 kms is not a distance that the modern human foot is comfortable walking. There were some pretty views and lots of trees, some sea and some incredibly sharp little stones underfoot. We had exactly 3 hours 45 mins to complete the 4 hour walk before the last ferry home left and we did it in 3 hours 15 mins. Success!! And we even had time to run into the sea and cool off before the boat ride back. A fun day out. Oh, the chaffage was terrible. Nearly forgot that. It was bloody hot and I was in agony by the time we got to the end, I won’t go into too much detail but it wasn’t pretty. The one thing that I needed and didn’t have, Aloe Vera! I did have something that was nearly as good though. Jimi has an outside shower, not the summer house kind but an actual shower with warm water. It was amazing, perfect pressure and if I stood on my tippy toes I got the view of the countryside. A new and interesting experience, I want one in the UK!

On the way back from Abel Tasman we stopped and picked up the freshest fish and chips I’ve ever had, it was so soft and tender and was battered to perfection. That evening the whole clan were there

Sinbad sleeping in a field

and we watched TV, the first proper TV I had watched in NZ other than American Football. There was something called the Block, home design show from Australia, then some Criminal Minds. It’s the small things that remind you of home. When it was bed time I went out to Sinbad and was lost in a field, everything was quiet and still. It was an amazing experience, like nothing I’ve ever felt. Looking up to the sky I saw more stars than I thought existed, it felt like a dream there were so many.

The next morning Jimi was tasked with babysitting her nephew whilst everyone else in the family was off doing stuff so we took him to the beach. Lewis is 2 ish I think and incredibly cute and very photogenic so I had a lot of fun taking photos of him, some that might even make it to my website, who knows… As well as having an outdoor shower, Jimi’s family are incredibly creative. From calling their son Fox to wanting to build a chic backpacker hostel made out of shipping containers, they do it all. Another example of Kiwis using shipping containers for use everywhere. At the end of the drive they were building a container pop-up coffee shop for the summer. 

After lunch I left for another adventure after a sunny and thoroughly wonderful time in Nelson, a place that I would love to go back to. I headed off to Picton to catch the ferry to North Island. Jimi’s mum told me that I probably didn’t want to go the windy windy way so obviously that’s the way I went, more by accident than intent. It was an incredible journey, driving up a sound was amazing. And turning the corner onto Picton Harbour was amazing. I found my campsite and realized that the weather the next day was supposed to be shitty so not the day you want to go up Queen Charlotte Sound. So I booked my ferry for the day after when the weather was going to be much nicer and had a really chilled out day, wandered round Picton and watched a couple of movies. It was my first day that I hadn’t done anything, it was a nice change, like being back in England all over again…

My day of travel I woke up to sunshine and few clouds, just what I’d ordered. The ferry was a little delayed so took a walk into town to grab some breakfast, a warm bacon and egg bread thing. The crossing itself was pretty uneventful, beautiful views and a nice comfy seat inside. Made it to Wellington unscathed!

Sinbad and I on the ferry

Thank you South Island, it has been a pleasure. I will be seeing you again. One of the best days of my life and some memories that will last a lifetime. 

Woodie’s Wisdom: Walking barefoot may seem like a way to feel at one with nature but nature will win and your feet will hurt!

I'm off to Invercargill - The Best City in the Southern Most Part of South Island (apart from any that I've missed)

Baby seal eyeing me up

I booked myself a couple of days in Dunedin because I had heard that it was a nice place. The weather put a bit of a downer on things. Day 1 It was cold and windy but I decided that I wanted to go look at some animals, the couple the previous night had raved about it. The place was basically a farm that used their land to look at animals, if you pay extra you can watch them shear a sheep, probably not worth the $20. It was good fun, we used an off-road vehicle to travel off the road to locations that you can’t walk to. But we got up close to some seals, as in about 2 feet away from them. Fun fact about seals: they are not scared of humans, they roll over and look at you and then go back to sleep. It might be because they can kill us, who knows. Then we bounced along another rough path to see some penguins, some Yellow-Eyed Penguins, don’t let that suck you in, they have yellow eyelashes. But I did get a photo of a mother in a hole with its baby. On the way to this point you walk down a covered walkway and on the way back up you stop by a cubby hole in the wall and inside there is a baby Blue Penguin and it just chilled and smiled. Unfortunately we weren’t allowed to take photos, you will just have to imagine a smiling penguin. As the lucky last person in the line the guy showed me another cubby hole, so technically I got 2 for 1. Better than Tesco on Black Friday that deal.

If you look closely there is a Yellow Eyed Penguin there

Not an albatross

Only a bloody Royal Albatross

I had a nice sit on sofas in the cafe because it was warm and watched a storm roll on by. It was the most comfortable I had been in a while, Sinbad for all the great things doesn’t have a sofa. Next purchase right there! Once I got bored, I drove back down the hill to the Royal Albatross Centre. It sounds very impressive but it’s actually because the bird is called the Royal Albatross. I’m sure if I had paid all the money in the world to walk up and take a photo I would now remember why they are called Royal. I can’t even be bothered to googlify it and pretend. It’s a big ass bird that this place is the only mainland spot you can see them. After refusing to pay to go on a walk I sat outside and was insistent that I wasn’t going until I had a photo of an Albatross. It was bloody windy so I got a little cold, thanking the purchase of a wind-proof jacket for keeping me only cold rather than freezing. And just before I was about to give up hope, out popped Alby, only bloody named the bird. He flew around for about 20 mins so got lots of snaps, it’s a big white bird. Thank you Alby! I had a little drive round Dunedin and didn’t find a lot of interest but did find a surf beach, due to the strong ass wind it was entertaining to watch but no-one had the nuts to get in the sea. It was a nice place to eat my din dins though, a seagull came to join in the fun. 

Windy evening in Dunedin

Arriba 

The next day the weather was still shitty, worse even so I decided to cut my losses and move on but wait… I decided to make a detour first. This detour was to the New Zealand Sports Hall of Fame, I was excited to see all the badasses of Kiwi sport in a museum. No, I went upstairs in a train station and there was 2 rooms. By this you can probably assume that there aren’t many people in the New Zealand Sports Hall of Fame. In all fairness I didn’t know who most of them were other than the rugby lot. It was an interesting way to spend half an hour. Followed by a hearty breakfast of churros I was on my way to Invercargill, the city that never wakes!

A journey through rain is never fun so I decided to make it a little more exciting and take the Southern Scenic Route, upon reflection there is a website and everything so if you ever get bored and need something to do… To make this even more exciting I decided that I was going to go off the beaten track, now that literally means off the beaten track. It was my first experience of a “rough road”. It’s like a sketch of the Mona Lisa, a bit half assed but you can tell what it is. I drove into a forest and was a little worried that Sinners was going to let me down in the middle of nowhere (in 90 minutes on this road I did no encounter another human), he didn’t. Go Sinbad!!

Not the beaten track

After this mini adventure I thought I could handle a bit more so went to popped down to visit a beach, it was raining so I left. Then the weather started to clear up and some waterfalls appeared on the helpful brown signs so thought I might as well. After all the rain that we had they were a lot less pretty and graceful waterfalls and more a raging torrent trying to fight over a cliff. Very impressive none-the-less with some pretty walkways through the trees. One of the waterfalls was so strong that even 10 metres away the camera was getting soaked through.

Raging torrent waterfall

Pretty and delicate waterfall

After this I ignored some signs so that I could plough on through to Invercargill, the excitement getting to me. After stopping in a small town called Fortrose to grab a beverage I tried to draw the owner of the only shop in 100km into a bit of a chat. I will go as far to say he is the least friendly person I’ve met, maybe even in the whole of New Zealand! But we will find out! After this small

Long and straight
(not terms used about me) 

town I found what felt like the longest road in the world, it was straight for about 10km then a bend then straight for another 5km, then a bend… you get the idea. AND this is part of the Southern Scenic Route. Then when I got to Invers, already chummy, I accidentally drove through the city centre and out the other side because I was expecting something a little more impressive. Upon finding my campsite I asked where was good to go on a Saturday night, expecting a list to choose from, I was given 2 bar/restaurants. It’s ok, I was still holding out hope that the southernmost city in NZ was going to come through for me. Whilst having my tea I watched Coronation Street with some Frenchies, it felt like watching Neighbours at home and I don’t do that, #rebel! Invers was shaping up nicely!

The Waipapa Point Lighthouse

Bottom of the world selfie

The next morning I wanted to visit the southern tip of the South Island and found that it was actually one of the brown signs I had ignored the day before. I weighed it up and thought, why not. As soon as I got onto the long stretch of straight roads I regretted my decision, I ignored the unfriendly man in Fortrose and powered through. I got to slope point, it just looks like a rocky cliff but I was there, took a selfie and left. One-upped the parents though as they weren’t allowed down, take that mum and dad! On my way back I stopped by (hour detour) Waipapa Point Lighthouse and got up close and personal with a Sea Lion, they big!

The sneer of derision

Now this is where shit got real, I arrived back into Invers at 1.45pm and the city was overflowing with people, cars everywhere and roads were closed off. It’s like they heard I was coming and had arranged for everyone in a 50km radius to come celebrate, COME ON INVERCARGILL!!!! After the initial excitement that everyone was waiting for me I did ask a nice friendly (not from Fortrose) man what was going on, acting cool and ready to be surprised it was for me. Unfortunately some guy was upstaging me, called Santa, what a dick! They were having a parade in his honour. In all fairness, I’m glad I stopped and watched, it was bloody impressive. I’m sure everyone in town was involved. It put a big smile on my face.

The guy that stole my thunder

Rocking the driving there boss

Shout out to Dave

I then left and made my way to Queenstown, it was a road through mountains with pretty views, yada yada, the usual stuff. Oh wait, apart from there were lakes! I was looking forward to a place that had people and stuff to do that didn’t involve going: “that’s a pretty view/animal/mountain”.

Woodie’s Wisdom: Firstly, don’t eat garlic and fish in the same meal, it’s disgusting. Secondly, don’t try and get close to a Sea Lion with disgusting breath, they get offended and breath on you and their breath is worse. Use this wisdom as you see fit.

Flying in unison

Dropping Knowledge and Keys (The Moeraki Adventure)

When I left Oamaru I decided to take my time a bit more and took the scenic route down the coast to Moeraki. On this mini adventure I stopped by the sea a few times, enjoying the views but not as much as if it hadn’t been raining for most of the day. 

The recovered keys

Nice Chinese man

When I got to Moeraki I decided to pop to the “town” for a bite to eat. Hmmmm, well I think calling it a hamlet would still be a generous term. There is only one commercial premises, it is also quite famous supposedly. Fleur’s is a fish restaurant and it was very popular, tour buses showing up for lunch and drinks. Unfortunately not my cup of tea so headed to the Moeraki Boulders Cafe for my lunch. I found a little gap in the rain to go down to the beach to look at some rocks. They were pretty impressive, for those that don’t know what they are, they are spherical boulders that are just chilling in the sea (as the photos suggest). I wanted to be cool so ran into the sea to get a selfie on a stone, go me. Further down the beach I wanted to get a photo of the boulders from the sea so gracefully hopped onto one and got a couple of snaps, for the purpose of the story I will admit they weren’t even that good. It was only when I got back to the top of the hill and went to get my car keys that I found they weren’t there. As you can imagine, I shat myself! Not literally fortunately but it wasn’t a good feeling. I checked to make sure Sinbad was still there, which he was. I knew when they had fallen out, it was when I jumped off the rock back onto beach, I held onto my phone and my wallet to stop them falling out but forgot about the key, whoops. I headed back to the beach with all my fingers crossed, looking at the water all the way along. When I got to the boulder I jumped off a nice Chinese guy came up to me asking if these were my keys. Not sure he was expecting the hug but he seemed to appreciate it. They thought it had been in the sea for weeks!

Rock selfie

Rocks in water

The things you find in Trotters Gorge

I decided to buy something to make my keys a little more noticeable, they now have a Kiwi attached to them, a metal keyring rather than the animal or human. I then carried on down the coast to Dunedin. I made a few stops on the way, one was a place called Trotters Gorge, even now it makes me laugh. It sounds dirty. So I popped down Trotters Gorge to find a dark cave, not the most impressive of things, I couldn’t even fit in it! But there was a lot of undergrowth to get lost in. 

After finding my way out of Trotters Gorge and back onto a smooth surface I happened upon my first NZ pig, they love bacon but you never see pigs. I will admit, my pig wasn't exactly frolicking in the mud but I’m counting it!

Excuse me, my pig appears to be empty

Then I made it to Dunedin, at about the moment I found my campsite on the Otago peninsular it started to rain. That was a theme of Dunedin. But after the day that I had I was ready to chill out. I met an English couple who were very English and liked to have a few drinks so I obliged and drank away the evening.

Woodie’s Wisdom: DO NOT drop the keys to all of your belongings and house in the sea, it could lead to a cold and wet few days. 

Beautiful path in Trotters Gorge