Wanaka - A Crate of Beer, Frozen and Some Old Men

View from the top of the Crown Range

Flip waiting at the top of the mountain

After leaving Queenstown there is a beautiful drive up over the Crown Range. With an amazing view over the mountains I stopped at the top to take some photos. As I got back into the car for the rest of the journey over the mountains I tried to wind my window up as it was a bit chilly. Unfortunately Sinbad refused! The electric motor was working but the window wasn’t moving. So I had to continue on into the sunset with an open window. On went my wooly hat and the heater and it was all good. I got to the campsite (the same one that my parents watched Lewis Hamilton not win the F1 World Championship in 2008) around 8pm. It was only when I got out of the car that I noticed I was missing a flip flop. So I was one flip flop down, one broken window and

A twig holding the window up

the rain starting to fall. I booked myself in for the night, then the campsite owner helped me take the door off (I became a pro) and prop the window closed. I decided to take a leaf out of the US Military handbook and not leave a man behind. I went on Mission Flip to collect the missing flip, I still had the flop. It was about 45 mins away but was so worth it. I now have both flip and flop but decided that I should get a backup pair in case I do something silly again.

Sinbad by the sea

After a good nights rest I had a nice time chilling around the waterfront with my book, bought a new pair of flip flops. For the first time in a long while I didn’t buy a pair of Reef flip flops because they don’t import them into New Zealand. I went with a pair of Hurley ones that have the sole made by Nike, unfortunately they didn’t have a bottle opener. I feel like I failed myself a little but they are pretty comfy so I will take it. I found a lovely little Italian restaurant, called Francesca’s, round the back of a car park. It would appear it’s actually very popular and people came from miles around to eat there. It was really good food and I think you had to be English to work there. I ended up watching a movie with a couple from America, they claimed that it was a Steven Spielberg film, it wasn’t. Fun fact, don’t watch a film called Sanctum, it’s not very good but it is in some way associated with Steven Spielberg.

Awesome car starter from Peter

The next morning I was chilling in Sinbad (still in my bad books) whilst charging my phone. However, when I came to drive away it would appear that I had no battery power, the phone was still charging though. I politely asked a passing couple if they had a booster, fortunately Peter was on hand with the coolest little device and just like that Sinbad was running again. To charge my battery I drove around a lot, taking photos as I tootled around the peninsula. In the afternoon the wind had picked up and I spotted a guy getting ready for a windsurf so went and took some photos. Another guy showed up with a kitesurf as well, supposedly the best wind that you get in Wanaka. A good day to be about.

Windsurfing on Lake Wanaka

American Football day was spent in a really smart bar that did some spiffing food. One of such foods was a loaf of bread filled with a cheesy core and garlic butter. I might have had 2. Football happened. I had been put in touch with a local by a friend from Greece, go Biebs. I had sent him a message but he happened to be at work but popped in for a quick beer beforehand. It would appear we got on, what a surprise. I had been planning on heading off that evening buy Josh mentioned that he was going to be having a day drinking session the next day and invited me along. On the camp site there was a trampoline that is springless, really cool concept so I tried it out. I haven’t been on a trampoline in a while and it would appear it has got harder, after about 10 mins I had to get my inhaler! I did put on a bit of a show for the German campers though, landing a front and back flip in those 10 mins! Earned my sleep though.

The drinking day was a lot of fun; 3 of us and 48 beers. Some may say it was a day well spent. We then went out to a few bars, I honestly don’t remember where we went and the next day I couldn’t even recognise them, whoops. At the end of the night Josh got into a scuffle with a bogan and ripped his favorite t-shirt. It was a lot of fun but it was the most drunk I have been in a long long time and therefore the worst hangover. We both woke up still pretty drunk and thought that we might as well go for a morning swim in the lake, it was fresh. We didn’t exactly rush after that, after breakfast we decided to take my virginity, my Frozen virginity. What is better on a hangover day than watching a Disney musical? Nothing, that’s what!

Slightly hungover swim in the lake

Josh made me breakfast

Frozen and ice cream

At about 5pm I decided to head off to Tekapo, when the hangover was starting to fade. It was my favourite drive in New Zealand so far. Over mountains, countryside and then into the lakes. Just as I came to the first big lake the clouds parted and gave a spine tingling reflection.

I arrived into Tekapo just as the sun was going down, I did miss the sunset but did get a beautiful view of the lake from the campsite. The next morning I headed to the hot springs for a relaxing morning overlooking the lake. I was developing a bit of a cold, it would appear that my aging body can’t handle a full day of drinking anymore. I decided that a relaxing head massaging was in order,

Yummy!

thank you Alicia. She got a little flirting in, telling me I was the funniest customer she had had. I can’t deny it, handsome and funny, these kiwis know what they are talking about. After a bit more of a relaxing soak and steam, teaching a German girl how to use the plunge pool properly, I had a sit out in the sunshine for some food. After making friends with the bar staff and chef, the offered to let me try some of their new menu before anyone else, this could have had something to do with me not being able to pick anything from their menu. I had a delicious pulled pork sandwich looking out over the lake. My best meal so far in New Zealand.

Who knows what bird
this is?

I pootled off into the wilderness after my lunch, taking my time but there wasn’t really much to see or do, time just passed. Other than driving back in the direction of Christchurch which I was worried that I would miss a turn and end up back there! To cross from the East to West of South Island you need to go over some rather large mountains. I drove across one that was called Arthur’s Pass, when I was basically at the top of the world whilst also stuck in a valley, fun feeling, I decided to get a little creative with my camping. I have an app that shows where most campsites are in New Zealand (incredibly useful) and as it was getting dark I needed to find one. However on the app the descriptions of the local campsites weren’t exactly stellar. They were all DOC campsites, meaning they are run by the conservation department, also meaning that they don’t have running water and stuff. I went big and went to the one with a tap, also based in the town of Arthur’s Pass, also the cheapest campsite of my trip ($6). Now, calling it a town is a bit of a stretch. The high street was about 100 metres long but that wasn’t even the worst thing. I arrived at around 7.30pm, get Sinbad all set up on the grassy knoll and walked into town to get some food. I went to the pub and asked if they were doing food, the answer was no because they were just about to shut. IT WAS 8PM!!!! You know you live in a small town when no one wants to be in the pub after 8pm. Fortunately the night took a turn for the better on the campsite when some Kea (New Zealand bird) decided to come play.

Meet Kea

They big! Everyone on the campsite got involved with the taking of photos. It was a proud moment for me because people were jealous of the size of my camera, and as I’ve been told on multiple occasions that size matters, haha. I even gave out some free photography advice to a young german man trying to get an arty photo. It’s like those 2 years of “university” weren’t wasted after all.

I did some more driving the next day, I was starting to get the first sense that I was in a rush as I needed to be in Nelson in 3 days from when I left Tekapo! Somewhere along my scenic route I passed a couple of lakes, they were pretty, the mountains were pretty. You know the drill. As I was driving round the side of a big lake I passed one Malibu Wakesetter (for those that don’t know, it’s a boat) and that got my juices going. Then just like that, about 30 mins later, a Malibu Response (for

Steve carving it up

those that don’t know, another boat) pulled out in front of me. Being on my travels I thought, let’s follow it. I did, for about 20 minutes, off the main road and down into a small town all the way down to the waterfront where there was another Response and a group of middle aged men. I thought it was only polite to introduce myself and explain why I had followed him down here. “Not that I was stalking you but I saw your boat and wanted to see where you were going”. They were a bunch of lovely chaps setting up a slalom course. I did a bit of helping out, a lot of talking and by the end of the afternoon they had invited me to dinner and also out on a boat to watch some skiing. I was so nice to be out on a boat again. Moana was turning out to be a lovely little town, the pub was also open after 8 o’clock. I also saw another Wakesetter than had a sparkly purple paint job, well done them.

My new friends, thanks guys

Fly doggy fly

Historic but not for tourists

After a night staying in the most relaxed campsite I’ve stayed in, I could have just driven in and stayed the night and driven out again without paying but I didn’t because I was raised proper like. I had a long day of driving to get up to Nelson, 6 hours worth but I did enjoy the previous few days. Just outside of Moana I saw a sign to a historic bungalow and thought it would be interesting. However, as you can tell from the sign, it isn’t exactly the most tourist friendly attraction. Only open on a Sunday between 2-4. I very nearly hopped the fence to go see but thought I would hold off on my law breaking.

Woodie’s Wisdom: Don’t mess with Sinbad

Sexy underwater selfie

Queenstown - Dream Town

Firstly I want to apologize to my avid fans for the delay in updating my blog, I have been having lots of fun. The good news is that you get to read about it, probably when I get back to the UK, ha. Enjoy.

I arrived in civilization and it was amazing! My first stop was to the backpackers where I was told I could park. Unfortunately they didn’t have any space, retrospectively that was a good thing because they charged a fortune, when you live in your own house $5 here and there is important, remember that. I eventually found a very nice campsite and set up home, made friends with the girl behind the desk, let’s call her Hayley from Burnley. 

This is Queenstown, pretty pretty

Then I made my way into town, I can’t really explain the feeling of arriving here. Given that I had come from Invercargill and other places where people were the exception. Having people around doing stuff was fantastic and I immediately felt at home. Being traditionally English I saw a sign that said “pub” and I was caught. I went in and made my first friend in Queenstown, the barman, also from England. There was a trend emerging, there aren’t actually that many people from New Zealand that live in Queenstown, lots of foreigners working and traveling. At The Pub I walked outside on a beautiful afternoon, sat down next to a group of 3 who were eating what can only be described as poo. Fortunately it didn’t taste like it and they were very friendly. After politely asking if they wanted to be my friends they said yes, who wouldn’t! We had some beers and then went to the movies to watch The Hunger Games. It was a good first day.

A sign from my breakfast spot

The next day was what have started to referring to as “American Football Day”, most people call it Monday. I started out with a visit to Hayley to book some activities. I decided to start small and booked some white water rafting for Tuesday. I spent about 7 hours in a bar called Malbas watching the games, it was an awesome day and made friends with the people who were coming for job interviews. Obviously I looked like a secret owner who wanted to get to know the staff. I also had some of the best wings I have had, unfortunately they didn’t have BBQ sauce, who does that?!

My attempt at a pre-rafting selfie

A paddle high five

Tuesday morning I had a wander around a bit of Queenstown village before I got picked up for rafting. It’s a very pretty tourist town, there are so few Kiwis around. So many British people working in all the shops and activity centres. For those that haven’t been, it comes across like a ski resort but is equally busy in both winter and summer. The drive to the rafting start was sketchy, on a road that wasn't really wide enough for the bus. One turn it felt like we were at the end of The Italian Job. My rafting group ended up being 4 English people and 2 Hollandish people, it's like they put the Europeans together. It was the most fun rafting I’ve done. I was sitting at the front so was the first to get a face full of icy fresh water. My favorite part was going through a tunnel followed by a huge drop of rapids. A great rush and who doesn’t love getting sprayed in the face! After I returned to town I went and entered a poker tournament that I had heard about the day before. It was really good fun and the people playing were really cool. Unfortunately I didn’t come away with any money but I’m blaming that more on luck that skill, obviously.

Bring me ma babyback ribs

The weather on Wednesday was really average so I went and did some shopping. It was one of the most successful shopping trips I’ve been on. I found trousers that fit, not only did they fit but they are also stretchy so one can lunge in them. What an amazing pair of trousers, I fell in love. I also bought some boardies because I could. My back was hurting from driving Sinbad around so I decided that I would treat myself to a massage. Hector was so calm and quiet when he introduced himself to me. However, when that door was closed he was mean and aggressive and it hurt. But afterwards I felt a lot less tight. Fun fact about Hector, he was missing a toe on one foot. These are the exciting tidbits that you find out about someone when you are looking at their toes for half an hour. The best part about the day was my lunch, I was recommended a place called Flame for their ribs, duly eaten and thoroughly enjoyed. Probably the best ribs I’ve ever had, it’s like they were made my Carlsberg. Not a bad day!

My view from lunch

The next morning I wanted something to do that was a bit more chilled out. so had another chat with Hayley, very knowledgeable. She recommended a trip up the Skyline gondola and there was a beautiful view of Queenstown. I had a delicious buffet lunch with said view and headed back down the gondola after taking some tourist photos, and by that I mean photos of tourists taking photos! My favourite part was listening to 2 girls discuss their first world problems, they were definitely on their GAP yah. Quote of the day: “it’s not my fault that my daddy chooses to pay for my stuff”, boom! That was the whole conversation, I had to hold myself back from getting involved. I had a wander around town again and the frozen yoghurt shop I had walked past a couple of days before was actually open so I went in and made friends. I accidentally made friends with the owners because I thought this girl was chatting to someone whilst they took a piss. Fortunately she wasn’t, it was just the toilet and the kitchen were opposite each other, it was very funny but you had to be there. Coincidentally she was the owner and from near Oxford I think so we fell to talking. Always nice to make friends with people that sell food. In the evening I hung out at the campsite and made friends with a single mother from French Guyana, the child (aged 2.5) was adorable but just ran wild. I don’t know how she could travel for 3 months with a small child, I would probably have just put it up for adoption.

Thanksgiving Day Football

Friday was Thanksgiving in America due to time difference so I went back to the pub to watch the American football games. There turned out to be a lot of Americans from Seattle so I joined in with the excitement. For those that know my true allegience, I was quietly routing against the Seahawks because they ruined my dreams. After the game I left for Wanaka, where the adventure was just about to start…

Woodie’s Wisdom: Visit Queenstown!

This made me chuckle because
I'm a child

I'm off to Invercargill - The Best City in the Southern Most Part of South Island (apart from any that I've missed)

Baby seal eyeing me up

I booked myself a couple of days in Dunedin because I had heard that it was a nice place. The weather put a bit of a downer on things. Day 1 It was cold and windy but I decided that I wanted to go look at some animals, the couple the previous night had raved about it. The place was basically a farm that used their land to look at animals, if you pay extra you can watch them shear a sheep, probably not worth the $20. It was good fun, we used an off-road vehicle to travel off the road to locations that you can’t walk to. But we got up close to some seals, as in about 2 feet away from them. Fun fact about seals: they are not scared of humans, they roll over and look at you and then go back to sleep. It might be because they can kill us, who knows. Then we bounced along another rough path to see some penguins, some Yellow-Eyed Penguins, don’t let that suck you in, they have yellow eyelashes. But I did get a photo of a mother in a hole with its baby. On the way to this point you walk down a covered walkway and on the way back up you stop by a cubby hole in the wall and inside there is a baby Blue Penguin and it just chilled and smiled. Unfortunately we weren’t allowed to take photos, you will just have to imagine a smiling penguin. As the lucky last person in the line the guy showed me another cubby hole, so technically I got 2 for 1. Better than Tesco on Black Friday that deal.

If you look closely there is a Yellow Eyed Penguin there

Not an albatross

Only a bloody Royal Albatross

I had a nice sit on sofas in the cafe because it was warm and watched a storm roll on by. It was the most comfortable I had been in a while, Sinbad for all the great things doesn’t have a sofa. Next purchase right there! Once I got bored, I drove back down the hill to the Royal Albatross Centre. It sounds very impressive but it’s actually because the bird is called the Royal Albatross. I’m sure if I had paid all the money in the world to walk up and take a photo I would now remember why they are called Royal. I can’t even be bothered to googlify it and pretend. It’s a big ass bird that this place is the only mainland spot you can see them. After refusing to pay to go on a walk I sat outside and was insistent that I wasn’t going until I had a photo of an Albatross. It was bloody windy so I got a little cold, thanking the purchase of a wind-proof jacket for keeping me only cold rather than freezing. And just before I was about to give up hope, out popped Alby, only bloody named the bird. He flew around for about 20 mins so got lots of snaps, it’s a big white bird. Thank you Alby! I had a little drive round Dunedin and didn’t find a lot of interest but did find a surf beach, due to the strong ass wind it was entertaining to watch but no-one had the nuts to get in the sea. It was a nice place to eat my din dins though, a seagull came to join in the fun. 

Windy evening in Dunedin

Arriba 

The next day the weather was still shitty, worse even so I decided to cut my losses and move on but wait… I decided to make a detour first. This detour was to the New Zealand Sports Hall of Fame, I was excited to see all the badasses of Kiwi sport in a museum. No, I went upstairs in a train station and there was 2 rooms. By this you can probably assume that there aren’t many people in the New Zealand Sports Hall of Fame. In all fairness I didn’t know who most of them were other than the rugby lot. It was an interesting way to spend half an hour. Followed by a hearty breakfast of churros I was on my way to Invercargill, the city that never wakes!

A journey through rain is never fun so I decided to make it a little more exciting and take the Southern Scenic Route, upon reflection there is a website and everything so if you ever get bored and need something to do… To make this even more exciting I decided that I was going to go off the beaten track, now that literally means off the beaten track. It was my first experience of a “rough road”. It’s like a sketch of the Mona Lisa, a bit half assed but you can tell what it is. I drove into a forest and was a little worried that Sinners was going to let me down in the middle of nowhere (in 90 minutes on this road I did no encounter another human), he didn’t. Go Sinbad!!

Not the beaten track

After this mini adventure I thought I could handle a bit more so went to popped down to visit a beach, it was raining so I left. Then the weather started to clear up and some waterfalls appeared on the helpful brown signs so thought I might as well. After all the rain that we had they were a lot less pretty and graceful waterfalls and more a raging torrent trying to fight over a cliff. Very impressive none-the-less with some pretty walkways through the trees. One of the waterfalls was so strong that even 10 metres away the camera was getting soaked through.

Raging torrent waterfall

Pretty and delicate waterfall

After this I ignored some signs so that I could plough on through to Invercargill, the excitement getting to me. After stopping in a small town called Fortrose to grab a beverage I tried to draw the owner of the only shop in 100km into a bit of a chat. I will go as far to say he is the least friendly person I’ve met, maybe even in the whole of New Zealand! But we will find out! After this small

Long and straight
(not terms used about me) 

town I found what felt like the longest road in the world, it was straight for about 10km then a bend then straight for another 5km, then a bend… you get the idea. AND this is part of the Southern Scenic Route. Then when I got to Invers, already chummy, I accidentally drove through the city centre and out the other side because I was expecting something a little more impressive. Upon finding my campsite I asked where was good to go on a Saturday night, expecting a list to choose from, I was given 2 bar/restaurants. It’s ok, I was still holding out hope that the southernmost city in NZ was going to come through for me. Whilst having my tea I watched Coronation Street with some Frenchies, it felt like watching Neighbours at home and I don’t do that, #rebel! Invers was shaping up nicely!

The Waipapa Point Lighthouse

Bottom of the world selfie

The next morning I wanted to visit the southern tip of the South Island and found that it was actually one of the brown signs I had ignored the day before. I weighed it up and thought, why not. As soon as I got onto the long stretch of straight roads I regretted my decision, I ignored the unfriendly man in Fortrose and powered through. I got to slope point, it just looks like a rocky cliff but I was there, took a selfie and left. One-upped the parents though as they weren’t allowed down, take that mum and dad! On my way back I stopped by (hour detour) Waipapa Point Lighthouse and got up close and personal with a Sea Lion, they big!

The sneer of derision

Now this is where shit got real, I arrived back into Invers at 1.45pm and the city was overflowing with people, cars everywhere and roads were closed off. It’s like they heard I was coming and had arranged for everyone in a 50km radius to come celebrate, COME ON INVERCARGILL!!!! After the initial excitement that everyone was waiting for me I did ask a nice friendly (not from Fortrose) man what was going on, acting cool and ready to be surprised it was for me. Unfortunately some guy was upstaging me, called Santa, what a dick! They were having a parade in his honour. In all fairness, I’m glad I stopped and watched, it was bloody impressive. I’m sure everyone in town was involved. It put a big smile on my face.

The guy that stole my thunder

Rocking the driving there boss

Shout out to Dave

I then left and made my way to Queenstown, it was a road through mountains with pretty views, yada yada, the usual stuff. Oh wait, apart from there were lakes! I was looking forward to a place that had people and stuff to do that didn’t involve going: “that’s a pretty view/animal/mountain”.

Woodie’s Wisdom: Firstly, don’t eat garlic and fish in the same meal, it’s disgusting. Secondly, don’t try and get close to a Sea Lion with disgusting breath, they get offended and breath on you and their breath is worse. Use this wisdom as you see fit.

Flying in unison

Dropping Knowledge and Keys (The Moeraki Adventure)

When I left Oamaru I decided to take my time a bit more and took the scenic route down the coast to Moeraki. On this mini adventure I stopped by the sea a few times, enjoying the views but not as much as if it hadn’t been raining for most of the day. 

The recovered keys

Nice Chinese man

When I got to Moeraki I decided to pop to the “town” for a bite to eat. Hmmmm, well I think calling it a hamlet would still be a generous term. There is only one commercial premises, it is also quite famous supposedly. Fleur’s is a fish restaurant and it was very popular, tour buses showing up for lunch and drinks. Unfortunately not my cup of tea so headed to the Moeraki Boulders Cafe for my lunch. I found a little gap in the rain to go down to the beach to look at some rocks. They were pretty impressive, for those that don’t know what they are, they are spherical boulders that are just chilling in the sea (as the photos suggest). I wanted to be cool so ran into the sea to get a selfie on a stone, go me. Further down the beach I wanted to get a photo of the boulders from the sea so gracefully hopped onto one and got a couple of snaps, for the purpose of the story I will admit they weren’t even that good. It was only when I got back to the top of the hill and went to get my car keys that I found they weren’t there. As you can imagine, I shat myself! Not literally fortunately but it wasn’t a good feeling. I checked to make sure Sinbad was still there, which he was. I knew when they had fallen out, it was when I jumped off the rock back onto beach, I held onto my phone and my wallet to stop them falling out but forgot about the key, whoops. I headed back to the beach with all my fingers crossed, looking at the water all the way along. When I got to the boulder I jumped off a nice Chinese guy came up to me asking if these were my keys. Not sure he was expecting the hug but he seemed to appreciate it. They thought it had been in the sea for weeks!

Rock selfie

Rocks in water

The things you find in Trotters Gorge

I decided to buy something to make my keys a little more noticeable, they now have a Kiwi attached to them, a metal keyring rather than the animal or human. I then carried on down the coast to Dunedin. I made a few stops on the way, one was a place called Trotters Gorge, even now it makes me laugh. It sounds dirty. So I popped down Trotters Gorge to find a dark cave, not the most impressive of things, I couldn’t even fit in it! But there was a lot of undergrowth to get lost in. 

After finding my way out of Trotters Gorge and back onto a smooth surface I happened upon my first NZ pig, they love bacon but you never see pigs. I will admit, my pig wasn't exactly frolicking in the mud but I’m counting it!

Excuse me, my pig appears to be empty

Then I made it to Dunedin, at about the moment I found my campsite on the Otago peninsular it started to rain. That was a theme of Dunedin. But after the day that I had I was ready to chill out. I met an English couple who were very English and liked to have a few drinks so I obliged and drank away the evening.

Woodie’s Wisdom: DO NOT drop the keys to all of your belongings and house in the sea, it could lead to a cold and wet few days. 

Beautiful path in Trotters Gorge